


Satsuma

by Balletbound



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:02:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9306467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Balletbound/pseuds/Balletbound
Summary: Conspiracy...





	

There was a low resonant hum, and a moment of suspense, but sure enough the field sprung to life, shimmering in the air before them. 

Trip whistled. "Nice."

"A rotating icosahedral emitter geometry, following a modified Bendelera sequence," Malcolm replied happily. "It's been right in front of me the whole time..."

Trip nodded, only half listening. There would be time to review the exact specifics of the breakthrough later. Right now he just wanted to enjoy the moment. He could usually count on Malcolm to appreciate the value of a comfortable silence, so it was with considerable surprise that he realised his friend was still talking.

"...well, you know how it is, Trip? How sometimes people are completely oblivious to what is right in front of their face..."

Trip nodded absently, while bouncing a satsuma from his lunch box against the field.

"...I mean it's right there in front of them..."

Bounce. "Uh huh."

"...completely obvious to everybody else. But the person closest to it..."

Bounce. "Uh huh."

"... Or PEOPLE closest to it, two people, just as a completely random example..."

Bounce. Stoop to catch. "Uh huh."

"...say those two people remain COMPLETELY oblivious to what is RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR BLOODY FACES, even though the people around them drop hints..."

"Uh huh."

"...repeatedly..."

"Uh huh."

"...in very pointed voices...Oh, would you stop throwing that bloody satsuma?! You're impossible. I give up."

Trip blinked as Malcolm stormed out of the room, positively seething with exasperation. "Malcolm, come back!" Trip called after him in bewilderment. "You CAN'T give up now, that's the best prototype yet!"

\---------------

"Commander T'Pol?"

T'Pol looked up in surprise. She had grown much better at predicting the behaviour of humans and yet she could think of no reason why Ensign Mayweather would have tracked her down in the Science Lab. Logic suggested that there must be an emergency of which she was unaware. However, when she checked her command display, she saw nothing of note, and so she was forced to take the less efficient route of extracting the information from Ensign Mayweather himself.

"I need to talk to you," Mayweather stammered in response to her sharp inquiry. "About Commander Tucker..."

T'Pol sprang upright in her chair. There was an emergency regarding Commander Tucker. She locked wide eyes on Mayweather. "WHY, Ensign, must you talk to me about Commander Tucker?"

Mayweather edged backwards. "Because I drew the short straw?"

T'Pol clicked her tongue with displeasure. "Explain yourself, Ensign. What has happened to Commander Tucker?"

"No..nothing..Commander. He's fine, I...think. I mean, as far as I know."

T'Pol slumped backwards in her chair returning most of her attention to the electron microscope. "In that case Ensign, make your point, assuming it can't wait until your next performance evaluation."

Mayweather drew in a heavy breath before continuing. "I...well... The thing about Commander Tucker is... I know he seems very confident and outgoing... But it's an act..."

T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting the Commander is DISHONEST, Ensign."

"No, no," Mayweather replied quickly. "Not dishonest. But you know...GUARDED. So I think if somebody had feelings for him, they should probably, you know, make the first move..."

T'Pol nodded slowly. "I think I agree Ensign..."

Mayweather's affect brightened considerably. "You do?"

"I do, indeed, making the first move would be the most logical course of action..."

"Yes! Yes it would!" Mayweather interrupted, smiling brightly.

"...Then we are in agreement," T'Pol continued. "Ensign, you should make Commander Tucker aware of your feelings for him immediately."

Mayweather's smile froze. "That's...that's not what I meant..."

"We have agreed that that is the most logical course, Ensign, so I suggest you consider it. Now, was there anything else?"

Mayweather's shoulders sagged. "No, Commander."

"Very well. You are dismissed."

\-------------

Trip was dividing his attention between an Engineering work order and a ham sandwich when Hoshi slid into the seat next to him.

"Hey, Hoshi," Trip said, glancing up from his PADD to greet her. "You don't happen to have any idea what got into Malcolm earlier, do you?"

Hoshi's smile tightened ever so slightly, but she answered serenely. "No idea. Say... Having dinner out with the commoners tonight, are you?"

"Yeah," Trip nodded absently. "Jon was busy tonight. Something about three month backlog of loose wire inventory...."

"Loose wire inventory," Hoshi prodded gently. "That's a thing, is it?"

Trip shrugged. "Apparently."

"You could have still had dinner though, right?" Hoshi continued, oddly pointedly. "You and Commander T'Pol?" 

Trip glanced up again briefly, then returned to his sandwich. "And what would we talk about?"

"Um...I don't know," Hoshi stammered. "I understand T'Pol has an interest in mid-millenial Vulcan poetry?"

Trip chuckled into his coffee. "Well, I'll think about it next time I need a sedative. In the meantime, these work orders won't authorise themselves, will they?"

"No sir," Hoshi conceded at the end of a long sigh.

Trip finished his sandwich.

\--------------

Archer rolled his eyes. "So all three of you failed? That's what you're saying?"

Hoshi, Malcolm, and Travis shifted uncomfortably.

"Yes, sir."

"Sorry, sir, but he's completely oblivious."

"She scares me a little."

"So NOW what do we do?" Archer replied, letting out a long sigh. He turned to Phlox. "You're awfully quiet, Doctor. I don't suppose you'd like to help."

Phlox shrugged regretfully. "As a doctor, my involvement in this little scheme would be highly unethical. It's awfully entertaining to watch though."

Malcolm scowled. "So what DO we do now? Search the galaxy for an interstellar phenomenon which will put everybody's sex drives into overload, wait for them to inevitably fall into bed together and then turn on a gigantic lightbulb above said bed?"

Archer's eyes narrowed. "Malcolm, that suggestion wasn't helpful the FIRST time you made it." 

Hoshi's eyes brightened. "Oh, I know! How about if we break all the vital systems in a Shuttlepod, strand the two of them in it, add a bottle of hard liquor and fake Enterprise's destruction. It nearly worked once."

Malcolm's grin bared teeth. "Perhaps leave the jokes to me, Ensign."

"What if," Travis interrupted quickly. "We send them each an email, that looks like it's from the other, ordering them to a cargo bay..."

"I can see where you are going with this," Malcolm interrupted. "Only where are we going to get the fake corpses..."

"Just figure it out," Jon snapped and strode towards his ready room. "Before I lose my god damn mind."

Hoshi, Travis, and Malcolm shot each other commiserating glances.

"You should try and work Porthos into your plan," Phlox chirped helpfully after a while. "Schemes always work better with dogs. Let me know when you are ready to try again. I'll bring the popcorn, hmmm?"


End file.
